Things Remembered

Does absence make the heart grow fonder, or does the heart simply change when it's away? I drove out of my way yesterday to go to a local audition in Michigan. I got lost on the way, and ended up showing up late, a thing I would never do a NYC audition. It all seemed like such a big pain in the butt, as if I needed to do this to keep myself occupied, and not to book a gig. But, when I entered the small theatre in Ann Arbor, and was greeted so warmly by the auditors, I felt alive. I performed my monologues as if I was having the time of my life, and in fact I was. Perhaps it was the two weeks away from auditioning or classes, or the fact that I am back home, but I honestly enjoyed myself. It was almost enough to make me want to move back to the midwest. I mean, I truly haven't had that much fun at an east coast audition in a long time.

I then met up with an ex-boyfriend strike that THE EX-BOYFRIEND, the first one, the one I hold the other ones up to, the one I use in acting class, and the one I felt deepest for and was most hurt over. I should've been nervous, but I was just excited to see him. It's been over five years. As we talked of what we have been up to and how far we've come, we laughed and ate. It occurred to me that we had never had this much fun while we were dating. Perhaps it was because we've both mellowed out, or because there was no longer the pressure of a relationship on us. Whatever the reason I had a wonderful day. A day that reminded me to always have a party no matted what the situation, and forced me to face the fact that I need to chill out a little. It's important for me to work hard, but in order for my work or my relationships to be great. I need to let go a little.