I've been able to spend a lot of time in Detroit over the past few days. WSU's campus seems so tiny compared to what I remember. Maybe it's the fact that I've gotten use to walking almost everywhere, or that when I'm in NYC I tend to roam everywhere from Washington Heights to Midtown to Queens in a single day, whereas at Wayne, I stayed to a small area.

Whatever the reason, I enjoyed my new feeling of the WSU turf being quaint and small, a little community of it's own. I enjoyed leisurely walking down the streets, stopping when I felt like it, not in a rush to rehearsal or class. Parked my car by the Hilberry and walked to Eastern Market (which seemed shockingly close). I ate at Sala Thai, which still seems delicious even after practically living on NYC thai.

I noticed details on buildings and appreciated the lush grass on all the University property more than I had before. It was as if I was in the last act of Our Town. I never really saw or appreciated everything around me on the campus until I went away.

So Much to Do, So Little Time

I remember spending a week or two at my parents place during the summer of undergrad, and the time moving by so slowly. I got bored so easily and would often fall subject to the temptations of day time television.

Now it seems like there isn't enough time in the day. Perhaps its because I'm more conscious of fitting in a good work out into my day, the large pile of reading that I have to get through for my summer job, or the fact that everyone want to see me (go away for a few years and have a near death experience and people will be flocking to you).

I also find that I enjoy my parents more, I mean really enjoy them. I don't just meet up with my dad for a free lunch or drive my mom to work for the car. I've been attempting to spend some quality time with them. Luckily, my father is a history buff so my Civil War reading assignment are of great interest to him. My mom is trying to get into shape so I've been taking evening walks with her. Which is better than going out in the day, since a Victorian Lady never tans. As I look down at my golden skin I realize, I may be screwed.

New York to Detroit to The Big Woods

I caught part of Magenta Giraffe's plays reading the other day, and was pleasantly surprised by the quality of it and the amount of people that showed up with educated feedback. Tons of old college friends were there and here they are, in the middle of a city with one of the nations worst economies, thriving, and making theatre happen. I have been a part of many new theatre companies in New York. All of them seemed disorganized and unfocused, or else, unwilling to get a start compared to Magenta Giraffe. As I settled into a seat at a table in the back of Cass Cafe. The conversation centered around being able to exist anywhere that there is a theatre scene. It made me wonder if New York was just an over priced way of running away. Of course, if it weren't for New York, I wouldn't be the same person you see before you. As I begin peeling away the pages of research for my new adventure, I am happy know that the experiences I have this summer will further shape my experience, even if that experience is with a population of 75.

Busy Little Bee

The last few days have been filled with bonfires, deep dish pizzas, extreme yoga classes, and thank-you note writing. As I stare at the stack of material on the history of Fort Wilkins, I wish my high school AP history teacher was still in my life. I even had a dream about him last night. I have been running through scales trying to teach myself the recorder, and today's task is to get some knitting done. I have a pretty intense itinerary for someone who "has nothing to do" or is "taking it easy". I guess it's just not in my nature to be bored. My mother use to press me as a child to "do something productive". But as I sat gulping down pizza in Ferndale, burning my mouth as I caught up to an old high school friend. I realize it is simply my passion for life that drives me. I am already coming up with things to keep me busy in the UP. By the way, if anyone is reading this, I'd love some book recommendations.

Things Remembered

Does absence make the heart grow fonder, or does the heart simply change when it's away? I drove out of my way yesterday to go to a local audition in Michigan. I got lost on the way, and ended up showing up late, a thing I would never do a NYC audition. It all seemed like such a big pain in the butt, as if I needed to do this to keep myself occupied, and not to book a gig. But, when I entered the small theatre in Ann Arbor, and was greeted so warmly by the auditors, I felt alive. I performed my monologues as if I was having the time of my life, and in fact I was. Perhaps it was the two weeks away from auditioning or classes, or the fact that I am back home, but I honestly enjoyed myself. It was almost enough to make me want to move back to the midwest. I mean, I truly haven't had that much fun at an east coast audition in a long time.

I then met up with an ex-boyfriend strike that THE EX-BOYFRIEND, the first one, the one I hold the other ones up to, the one I use in acting class, and the one I felt deepest for and was most hurt over. I should've been nervous, but I was just excited to see him. It's been over five years. As we talked of what we have been up to and how far we've come, we laughed and ate. It occurred to me that we had never had this much fun while we were dating. Perhaps it was because we've both mellowed out, or because there was no longer the pressure of a relationship on us. Whatever the reason I had a wonderful day. A day that reminded me to always have a party no matted what the situation, and forced me to face the fact that I need to chill out a little. It's important for me to work hard, but in order for my work or my relationships to be great. I need to let go a little.

Getting Back in the Swing of Things

This weekend I indulged a little. I sadly, did not make it to church on Sunday, as my night of dancing and "celebrating" with my sisters and friends wore me completely out. It seemed like a good time was had by all at Delux, though the staff was rather rude at the Anthenum hotel, and we almost didn't make it due to a long over due venting session between the Cermak sisters. After such a wild weekend, I was happy to sleep in today, and to weasel my way into a free week membership at a local gym where I swam to my heart's content. I then scoped the Internet for local acting opportunities, and worked on my pieces for an audition in Ann Arbor tomorrow. All in all the day was rather close to a day off in New York. I only hope I continue to enjoy myself as much in the upcoming weeks.

The Life of the Party

Last night I had the pleasure of listening to Kono Michi in the beautiful Rivera court with my two dear friends. It's funny, I've been to the DIA millions of times, but it took a bit of distance for me to truly appreciate it. As the sunset the sky light darkened and we were surrounded by unique and deep music. I sat back and for perhaps the first time I fully knew that I was blessed with wonderful friends in college. They are true gifts. While I always appreciated Detroit, it was like meeting an old lover again. As we sipped on saki and beer, we slowed moved our way through Detroit, getting to know her again, as she wooed us.

It's All in the Family

My grandma is in town. She is a very feisty lady. A tall woman for her era, standing at about 5'8", when she shuffles into a room, she definitely make an impression. People say that I'm like her and I'm glad. I hope I have as much spunk when I'm 89.

She came into town on a bus that takes seniors from Cleveland to Detroit to gamble at Greektown Casino. She makes this trip often, and enjoys gambling. Don't get me wrong, my Grandmother does not play craps or blackjack. You won't hear her yelling around a crowded table. She love the penny slots. She will tell you stories about big wins when she fronted just a few cents. I'm guessing we wouldn't have been able to pry her away from the machines, except for the fact that my sister is graduating from nursing school.

Yesterday my family and I sat in an auditorium and watched Shawna's two years of hard work pay off. We had to be extra supportive because Shawna's twin, Danielle was stuck in Colorado. In fact, she had been traveling all day. After a lovely diner and long hours of chatting Danielle came through the door I've never seen Shawna so happy. For a moment we were so peaceful so full of love. My sister's have accomplished a lot in the recent weeks. Shawna has graduated. Danielle was promoted to Major rank in the air force, and received a military award. As the entire family was glowing around them I felt a little self conscious. I've been spending so much time trying to take care of myself the last few weeks that I haven't been able to accomplish much. Suddenly my grandma chimed in with "and we're so happy you're alive!" (hilarious).

But, you know something, she's right. I'm pretty damn lucky I'm alive. Strike that, I'm pretty blessed I'm alive. Then, my god mother leaned over and said "my God, Jessie, you have your Dad's laugh". I don't think it was intended to be a complement, but I sure took it as one. Today I'm going to play the penny slots with Grandma Cermak at Greektown. To make up for the fact that she didn't get to gamble much yesterday. I'd say life is pretty good.

But Seriously

D: "what in the world are you doing in that horrible place"

Me: "this is where I'm from"

D: "oh..."

This is the phone conversation that started my day yesterday. Yes, it is true that Michigan isn't the most desirable place to live. I wouldn't exactly call Detroit a vacation spot or Shelby Township a place to party. But, I did spend the first 22 years of my life in this general area, and it's got to be a part of me somewhere.

As I sat in a coffee shop in Royal Oak, waiting for my friend, Lauren. I thought about how empty the whole town seemed. When I was in high school this area was the cool area to hang out, and looking around it seemed a little drab to me. This could have been the fact that I was comparing it to the "great" New York City, or the fact that Michigan as a whole has been experiencing economic downturn.

All of this was a little depressing for me until Lauren bounced into the shop. After a long embarrass she talked nonstop about plans she has and auditions she's going on. I was so proud of her. By all accounts she is a working actor (with a day job on the side), and she seems fairly happy. I asked her if she thought I had changed she said I seemed more sophisticated (which is hilarious), but that she was bring the old Jessica out. I believe my mom used the word cynical. Well, what ever I've become, while living in New York, this time at home is causing to soften and calm. It may be even as simple as not taking myself so seriously.

Domesticated Jess

It feels good to be home. In the past when I've come to my parent's condo for a break or holiday, I've felt an uneasiness. It's as if I'm leaving something behind. I believe it's a similar feeling to the one my mother must've had all of the times she left me in the grocery store.

After eating at the soup and salad bar at Big Boy with my dad, I went home, and cooked a squash and made a salad. Both were intended to be consumed later in the week. My mom had given me these tasks to ensure that I wouldn't get bored while she was at work. I have always enjoyed cooking, but there was something about yesterday that was simpler than it had ever been before. I could actually focus on what I was doing in the moment with worried about something happening 12 hours away.

In the evening I had a cup of coffee with my sister and her new boyfriend. I was the first family member to meet him. It was comforting to know that my sister trusted my opinion, and I truly enjoyed myself. I got up this morning and did some yoga. I feel peaceful.

The Last of the New York Times

Hello Friends and Strangers,

I have started this blog because I promised myself that I would write this summer. I am a New York based actor who is making the journey "home" to Detroit before making the long journey to Copper Harbor in the Upper Penisula of Michigan, where I will be playing the General's Wife at a historical fort. An odd way to spend the summer I will admit, but anyone who knows me well will tell you that I never quite do things the normal way.

So, what does a hip youngish artist do in the big city before she leaves civilization as she knows it? Did I go to a bunch of trendy clubs or have one last fling with old loves? No, my activity for the last few days has included much more interesting activities. I read children's plays at a local public school. I met Italian men who shared McDonald's fries with me. I ate comfort food and drank wine sitting on my floor with all my friends. I went to a poetry reading and talked too loudly in Barnes and Nobles with lovely ladies, and had a spiritual conversation with a cab driver. An odd farewell no doubt.

All of my friends are happy that I'm taking a job in the woods. Most of them feel that I need to take better care of myself, that I need a rest. My mother and father weren't sure about my decision at first they wondered why I would leave a city with so many opportunities to go sit in the middle of no where. Just the other day my mom said "this summer is about saving money". I won't lie. That is part of it. It will be nice to not pay New York City rent for a few months. But, it is also something deeper, something more important to me. I am young and I am an actor and I must not put down roots just yet, or get too comfortable anywhere. I want to be open to adventure, and adventure is just what I will get.

But first, a quick trip "home". I sit in the airport and wait to go back to the city I went to school in and the condo where my parents live. All three of the Cermak sister will be together once again . Who knows what will happen?